Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lonechild16's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Thursday, May 26th, 2005
6:42 pm	Parental figure and kid Parent: Don't worry, you'll be able to walk in time, promise. It'll take a lot of time and patience and work but I'll help you. *kisses forehead and walks off to work on parenty things* Kid: ((Hmmm....maybe I really can..I'll do it on my own...show them..make them proud)) *leans up against chair and uses it to help stand* *smiles and closes eyes, tries to make first steps in random direction* -WHAM- *hits head on table corner* Heh...I don't think this ever happened to me as a kid...but in a way has happened to me recently...... I really don't want to talk about it so until we meet again.. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Avril Lavigne - Fall to Pieces (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
9:23 pm	Mexico stuffed as best as I can into a nutshell and then exploding out Saturday= 2 plane flights (blaaaaa, but i got to play blackjack which was nice) hotel (with hot tub and pool and pizza and beautiful warm clear night which rocked) Sunday= more hotel (chillin by the pool and hot tub a lot) touristness (went to a marketplace thinge and got to shop like crazy) cake (two other people besides me had they're b-days on this break so we got to have a bbq and cake and stoof) Monday= left our nice hotel to go live in a church (literally just sleeping on a church floor in Mexico, with toilets that don't flush and cockroaches all over and pipe showers {mind you I loved it}) went to work to start building the base(did the concrete base which took all day, and as soon as I got out of the van the mother we're building for's son {4 year old Edwin who is ADORABLE!!!} glomped me) I got to play with the circular saw Tuesday= framing the house and sheathing stuff (hardest day but was fun and got to play with the kids more, a girl named Joanna there had the same b-day as me too ^_^) party (they had a surprise b-day party for me and a girl who's b-day was today and it was crazy and fun and such....and i've never had a surprise party before so I loved it..) Wednesday= play on/build the roof and did drywall (was feeling kinda sick but the roof was fun and power tools are fun) Thursday= did the rest of the dry wall and finished up the rest of the house (feeling REALLY sick) got sick....4 times...>_< (there were ten other people who got sick though, only two were boys and only one person got sick cause they were stupid and drunk the water) Friday= hung out at the church with the other sick people and slept a lot(we had a sick crew, and mommies to make us take our meds and all that mommy stuff) got better and went out to eat (no one at much, but still was fun) went back to our nice happy hotel in El Paso (and I got to be the mommy of the sick people cause they put me in the "sick room") Saturday= more plane rides (got spoiled by the couple who were sitting next to me, they were going to Germany and kept giving me cookies and stuff) extra info: -woke up at 5:30 every mornin to help with breakfast -ROOSTERS ARE LOUD AND EVIL -Mexican kids are adorable -Mexico is awesome -I didn't get sunburned!!! -will probably post pictures here from the trip -I miss people too much -baby wipes are your best friend and yeaaaaaaaaa......TODAY WAS AWESOME!!!!! *dances around in circles* Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: none currently (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
10:17 am	1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. How have I affected you? 5. What do you think of me? 6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? 7. How long do you think we will be friends? 8. Do you love me? 9. Do you have a crush on me? 10. Would you kiss me? 11. Would you hug me? 12. Physically, what stands out? 13. Emotionally, what stands out? 14. Do you wish I was cooler? 15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 17. Am I loveable? 18. How long have you known me? 19. Describe me in one word. 20. What was your first impression? 21. Do you still think that way about me now? 22. What do you think my weakness is? 23. Do you think I'll get married? 24. What makes me happy? 25. What makes me sad? 26. What reminds you of me? 27. If you could give me anything what would it be? 29. How well do you know me? 29. When's the last time you saw me? 30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 31. Do you think I could kill someone? 32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? 34. Are you going to put this on your whatever and see what I say about you? Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Vertical Horizon - I'm still here (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
3:37 pm	Happy St. Patrick's Day Dance the night away by karchan85 Name What you Look like The Music Oldies Quiz created with MemeGen! That's all I gotta say :p (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 20th, 2005
11:35 am	babble babble babble IT IS DONE....... :) You either know what I'm talking about or are staring in confusion. If you really want to know then just ask but I'm too lazy to post everything here. Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?" April ACTIVE and dynamic (umm...maybe, I dunno). Decisive and haste but TENDS TO REGRET (am indecisive but regret too much). Attractive and affectionate to oneself (heh, I wish). Strong mentality(nope). LOVES ATTENTION (yep). DIPLOMATIC (maybe?). CONSOLING, FRIENDLY AND SOLVES PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS (I try..). Brave and fearless (heh). ADVENTEROUS (sometimes?). LOVING AND CARING (try to be). Suave and generous (maybe?). EMOTIONAL (yeeeeea). AGGRESSIVE (in sports :p). Hasty (sometimes). Good memory (for some things). Moving Motivates oneself and others (ummm..?). SICKNESS USUALLY OF THE HEAD AND CHEST (sooooo many nosebleeds and ear infections). Sexy in a way that only their luver can see (mmm...maybe?). (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
4:38 pm	Heh....yea I'm still alive Things have been nuts for like the past few months ....Sorry, not going to talk about them here. But I was spiraling and now I think I'm getting better. Storm's almost gone now, we can come out and play again. Smile again. Laugh again. And maybe I will see you out in the sunlight again. Nothing really going on currently....just in this "boys should be kicked in the balls" mindset. Not Chun or Iggy though cause you guys are cool. Everything just kinda exploded and I just got to sit and watch. And now that it's over just picking up the pieces and going back to life. Current Mood: content Current Music: Spin by Lifehouse (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
8:28 am	quiz stolen from Mel stolen from some guy named Shawn My name is: Nicole C Rosecrans I was born on: April 20th I am a(n): Female My hair colors are: Brown My eye color is: Hazel My shoe size is: ummm...like a 6 and a half or 7 My ring size is: No clue, whatever size my class ring is but I think it's suppose to be like the same as your foot size My height is: 5' 4" (yee! I feel so tall) I am allergic to: nothin that I know of I live in: Latham, NY The last three books i read: "Billy", "Montana 1948", and whatever other book we had to read for school My bed is: small and in the back corner of my room One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: guys aren't really much different from girls (besides physically) I am glad I'm my sex because: ummm....I'm really not. Maybe cause I can dress like a guy and not freak everyone out. Don't think it'd be as easy if I was a guy dressing up like a girl. My Best friends are: :p if you're one of them then you'll know My favorite pajamas are: just a really baggy t-shirt A perfect kiss is: I dunno The last three CDs I bought are: I don't buy cds, just download music Last song that made me cry was: I don't remember... I could not live without: friends. *twitches* must...have...friends... My most treasured possession is: friends, duh. What did you do last night: talked to people online and just hung out in the family room My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): Burn. I burn waaaaay too easily -I Do/Do Not Believe in- Love at first sight? eh, not really. think it'd be a more gradual thing Luck? nope Fate? not sure God? yep Aliens? nah Heaven? yea Hell? yea Ghosts? not sure really... Horoscopes? nah, they're fun to read though Soul Mates? not sure -Here's What I Think About... - Backstabbers? the closer of a friend, the more they hurt. School? good way to force people to get together and for you to be forced to see your friends. Otherwise school is a PAIN. America? Eh, who cares? I'll stay in New York and just worry about that and our sucky president. Love? confusing....very very confusing... Friends before Love: prefer that more than anything. that way you actually KNOW the person and if you decide you don't love each other, then you can always stay as friends -last time i... Took a Shower: Yesterday Talked on the phone: Don't remember, think last week someone randomly called me Kissed someone: icky, and I don't remember Hugged someone: Peter like last friday Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: Mel came over on Thurs and I haven't seen her for a while Drove: never I always ask: Hmmm? Which celebrity or famous person are you in love with? none One thing I'm pissed about right now is: nothing really. Want my family to leave the house for a while so I can blast music but otherwise nothing. The last movie I saw in the theater was: Don't remember The thing I dont understand is: I don't understand most things The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: They're just a lot of fun. You can just start wrestling with a guy and it's perfectly ok and fun. Just more comfortable with hanging out with them. This week I am: going to worry about midterms This Summer vacation I am: probably going to Mass. again, but will stay home and just hang out with friends for most of the summer -The thing that I'm looking forward to the most about...- Tomorrow: seeing friends, even though it'll only be for a few minutes and then we have to take a midterm Today: seeing a friend of mine from church. Next Summer: seeing friends a lot more Next Week: end of midterms People call me: Nikki, Nicole, Gaz, Nik, and probably some more that I can't think of right now The person who I talk to the most on the phone is: I don't talk on the phone enough The person I had the longest on-going relationship with is: Julz. Course he's the only guy I went out with and only lasted for a few months The person I have been friends with the longest is: girl: Jess or Neena (since I was around 5 or 6) guy: ummm...probably my neighbor Jeff (again since we were like 4 or 5) The person(s) who knows the most about me is: hmm.....probably Cliff The person who can read me the best is: Cliffness The most difficult thing to do is? tell someone the truth when you're afraid it will hurt them, or just telling someone you like them. Both are hard. My zodiac sign is: Taurus The first person I thought/think I was/am in love with was/is: like I'd tell you truly in love with: again, like I'd tell you The one person who can't hide things from me: I wish no one did, but everyone can hide something from me if they really try. or at least keep something from me and tell me not to ask about it I have these pets: Mist and Oshi, family cat and my fish I wish I was: more helpful The best shoulder to cry on: shoulder of someone you love and you know truely cares about you I almost died when: Don't think I ever have "almost died". Die in dreams a lot, but they don't really count. My favorite state? New Hampshire or New York. Only like NY cause it's the only home I've had and only like NH cause there's an awesome spot up there that I got to camp out at and it was amazing. What I am wearing right now is: pajamas = baggy t-shirt and pajama pants The last person I pissed off was: I don't know, and if I did I'm sorry.. My worst drinking experience was: never had one The last movie I watched was: dad was watching some James Bond movie and I watched a bit of it The all-time best thing in the world is: just hanging out with your closest friend or someone you love. Don't even have to be doing anything, could just be sitting there together and it's just great to be with them The most annoying thing ever is: me! I lose all respect for people who: copying Mel but: lie. lying or backstabbing The worst pain I was ever in was: physical pain: don't remember emotional pain: loosing a really close friend of mine My room is full of: you shall never know. My room is my room and no one goes in it but me My downfall is? fear, insecure, worry too much What turns me on is? 0_o ....why do you care? Wow, I'm forgetful. That and don't like sharing information. Ah well Current Mood: bored Current Music: none unfortunately (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
9:11 pm	*thud* merg.................. I'm going to do so bad in chemistry. It's harder than math and I just don't get it... And then mom and dad will freak out at me getting a "bad grade". They'll either be driving me nuts about my grades all next semester or think that I'm having trouble in school due to stressing out about non-school related things. If that I get sent to a counselor outside of school and put on anti-depressants until they think I'm better. ....goody... But otherwise, home has gotten a bit better than it was a couple of weeks ago.... most of the problems that got me stressing out so much are getting better. I'm really just waiting for February though for certain reasons. Hopefully talking to people then will help. We can solve all of this, but just need time. Current Mood: restless Current Music: If you could only see - Tonic (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
4:51 pm	countdown 4 days till Christmas 3 days till winter break x days till I figure out why I'm so messed up let x equal some very very small number....heh, I don't like math. But yea...things come to a close. Like two people and they like me. Not going to go out with anyone. People avoid me. I'm not happy enough for you so just give me time to figure out a way to force a smile for you. Then I'll come back and quit being so dead and depressed. Aaaaaaaagh.......just ignore me for a while. I'll explain when I calm down and stop lying. Current Mood: empty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 5th, 2004
10:31 am	Calming down in a way... "we really should be going out......" "your "blank"s...." (I'm nice and don't say names) I AM NO ONES. Who ever said I wanted to be anyones.... mer.....just torn between people. This whole mess has cleaned up a little though. One left happy. One left hurt. Still three more to handle. All this week though I've been overwhelmed...had to go to guidance right after midmorning one day. Came in late to school another day. If my problems start to interfer with school and stuff mother says I have to see a counselor.... I don't need one, I have friends to counsel with. I just hope they forgive me for scaring them...for getting this overwhelmed and not telling them. I'm sorry for messing up again. yea....that's been my life for awhile. Just trying to figure out how to clear everything up. At least before Christmas. But anyways, if anyone knows where I can find a scanner, please tell me. I've been drawing a lot lately, maybe I'll show you. ((((minds should not always be allowed to speak)))) Current Mood: numb Current Music: Scars by Papa Roach (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 5th, 2004
7:18 pm	Gone I need to be alone. I need to stop putting so much trust in them. it hurts them and then it hurts me when they have to keep themselves away from me I'm so dependent on people. I put so much trust in people. They don't trust me cause they're afraid they will hurt me. But I'm the one who ends up hurting them. I've hurt too many people already. I need to get away from them. It'll hurt me, I know it. But as long as I can't and don't hurt them. I'll be happy if I know they are. That's all I need. I have no purpose. Rephrase: I do have a purpose. To make others happy. And I failed. Current Mood: dead (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
2:56 pm	well, that lasted long mer.....well, here's the explanation in vague terms: I get a crush on person A. Person A ends up liking me. Everything is fine. Person A goes to Maddy's party. I go to Jess's party. Person B has liked me for about a half a year to a year without me knowing. Person B is at Jess's party. Person A wasn't there to keep person B away. Person B tells me he likes me. I'm not sure if I like person B because I like person A. yea.......well isn't this a great little situation. Now to tell person A about the situation and figure out which one I like more. Current Mood: drained Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 29th, 2004
11:41 pm	time goes on, and things gradually get better.... I'm getting better. I can finally say that I'm happy. yay. So I have had a crush on him. And after a two hour conversation on the phone with him figured out that he likes me too. Not going out though. Let him work out his problems and when or if he wants to then sure. I can wait. My patience is actually coming back. I actually smell like him now, heh. Saw him tonight bla bla bla yay. Yes I'm giddy. Just feel safe and happy, and I haven't felt that way for a while. Otherwise....ya. I really don't want to talk about anything before the past couple of days. Let's just say they were pretty sucky. Leave it at that. I'm sorry that so many people are going through a hard time right now. Up to six that I know of and there are probably more.... I am truly sorry and I am always here to help. I think I'm pulling out of my slump, so let me help you while I still can. You won't bring me down, but maybe I can help you up. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Somewhere out there by Our Lady Peace (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 8th, 2004
5:17 pm	"When you are with me I'm free I'm careless I believe Above all the others we'll fly this brings tears to my eyes"....... I drown in my memories and stay up late at night on false hopes that maybe someone will come. And it's killing me. I know I shouldn't, you don't have to keep telling me that. But I just want them back. I'm worried and beginning to assume they won't come back so the only way I feel like there sill here is to just stay within my memories. I miss them.....I just want them back, tha'ts all. Is it that much to ask for? It's not like I'm trying to change the world, I just want to actually see them and have a conversation with them again. And you don't knkow who I'm talking about and that's ok. Tuesday I get to see Mr. Davis again. I now have to see him once a week or he calls home and gets mom and dad involved. He used to think I was normal but now he thinks I'm depressed. Maybe I am, but I don't care Current Mood: what do you think Current Music: Creed: My Sacrifice (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
9:38 am	advice please So what do you do when you're taking on people's problems and your own till it drives you mad? I don't want to stop....need another option. Or someone to rant to.... I think I like someone...pretty sure they don't like me. Who knows, haven't talked to them for a long time and it's driving me nuts. You don't get to know who it is, sorry. asdgjgewlhfaposdjglkenfaskfnoibhrtre;anvkdbv........ya.... lack of sanity. someone stole it and won't give it back. I reach for people to hold on to so I know I'm not alone. And when I begin to loose control I hold on tighter. But those people I thought I could hold on to are now disappearing. If I try to reach for them and they start to fade away. So now I'm stuck sitting in front on them driving myself mad and wondering if they were ever real to begin with. Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Linkin Park: Breaking the Habit (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 24th, 2004
11:42 pm	my left eye is noticably farther back than my right...like a millimeter. the pupil size is noticably different..*hates* (Comment on this)
6:16 pm	Cute little drama after soccer practice. Some guy and girl were talking and it looked like the girl was breaking up with him and he kept trying to get her to stay so he could talk to her and work things out. I walk around the school and see him come around and sit down in the grass alone and looking pretty upset. Later the girl comes around with some guy friends of hers, the guys leave and she goes to talk to the one guy on the grass. They talk, hug, talk some more. She gets a little upset and starts to walk away but he grabs her, kisses her, and runs off to his bus. She stood there all rigid and in shock and then walk off to talk to her guy friends. I dunno, it just seemed kinda cute and like one of those sappy tv shows. Kinda annoyed that I couldn't hear what they were saying but it was still interesting. otherwise not feeling great. Life is life and this week sucked. got my class ring...liked that. So one thing this week was good I guess. need to see people this weekend IN PERSON AND TALKING TO THEM and all. School you don't actually talk to people and have a conversation, you just say hi and bye. Talking over the computer is getting annoying too cause I can't see them and really want to see them when I'm talking. That way I know we're both being honest. Or they do some really convincing lying...but I'd feel better. blarg... need i mention happy late b-day Ash. Current Mood: numb Current Music: A Perfect Circle: Blue (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 16th, 2004
12:13 pm	Donuts ^_^ Best cure for a having to wake up early on my day off and go get ticked off at some idiot oral surgeon: Dunkin' Donuts and a movie He's worse than the orthodontist and makes me actually want to get braces just to not have to see him again. The only problem is these stupid normal sized molars that stick out pretty far compared to the rest of my tiny teeth. HATE HIM AND ANYONE WHO STICKS THEIR HANDS IN MY MOUTH. Summer never really has ended yet but school is still back. It's been interesting to say the least... Still not really in a mood to talk. Just need to go think. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: blastin the radio (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 9th, 2004
9:05 pm	loosing control Feeling way too open. I'm just feeling so huggable and ok with people. But in the back of my mind I can hear myself yelling to not let anyone touch me. I don't know why but it's like I just don't feel safe being this open. It's nice, but I'm just worried that it could backfire somehow on me. That and I've just lost control. I got ticked today at soccer and actually scared the ref and some person on the other team. I didn't like hit the other player, but I yelled at her to get off me. When I turned around to look at her she just looked shocked and might have been on the verge of getting really upset. The ref was just in shock with his mouth open. It's not like I beat her up or swore or something. I just yelled at her to get off of me cause she hit me in the back of the head. Day 1 of school ended. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
10:06 pm	randomness..... Another day....no specific topic again, sorry. Could of sworn that I saw Opi today walking up towards Pizza Hut today. If I was sure it was him I would have made my aunt pull over so I could say hi. That's how bad I miss the people who have left, and I haven't seen Opi since like June. He's the only one who loves my annoying way of hacking and he's just...well, he's Opi. What more can I say? ^_^ Ya, still missing people a lot but school's in like two days so I'll be able to see some people. Scared to see those people but missing them too. Mainly confused......about EVERYTHING. But when am I not... Oh well. Ah ya, to people who have viewed my subprofile, you may get some random im from Kyle. He's looking for your screenname Chun. No idea why but he is. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: I miss you by Blink 182 (Comment on this)